Entitlement-Minded Mommies (and their partners)
By K8
Posted: Apr 27, 2009
This started out as a
Pukefest submission, but I quickly realized that I have so many examples of
maddening mommy-entitlement behavior that I want to share, it might work better
as an official Rant.
I am sick and tired of,
and sickened and tired by, the Entitlement Disease that seems to afflict
mothers--single mothers and mothers with partners and those partners
themselves-- the second they give birth to their first precious Jack or Aiden
or Bailey or Ethan. These men and women seem convinced that by succeeding in
fulfilling the natural biological imperative called procreation, which nearly
every teen and adult on the planet would fulfill if they weren't careful, they
have become special, better, different, and more important than the rest of us
to the point that they think that they should receive preference and special
treatment in almost every conceivable situation.
Time for some stories.
Last week, I was
patiently shuffling through security at a large international airport just like
the rest of the herd hoping to catch a flight that day. One by one, we
presented our driver's licenses, removed our shoes, doled our belongings into
bins, and submitted to pat-downs and metal detectors for the sake of speedy
travel. But, much to my dismay and the dismay of the ridiculously long line of people
behind me, two people ahead of us had decided that they were different. I
looked ahead to see a couple, man and woman, with a baby about a year old,
screaming and yelling at the airport security officials, throwing what amounted
to a two-person adult tantrum. They had with them two strollers (one small and
compact, one the size of my Honda), bag after bag of baby-related plastic crap
(all of which they apparently thought they were going to carry on...?), their
own expensive Eddie Bauer backpacks, and the requisite bawling spawn. I
gathered from their hysterical screams that they didn't think they should have
to pass the loads of different baby-drinks, baby-foods, and baby-meds,
strollers, and bags through the x-ray machine like everyone else. After ten minutes
of yelling, they finally began to unpack their myriad bags and attempt to cram
the luxury stroller through the x-ray machine, griping to each other and
shooting nasty looks to the growing line behind them all the while. Having a
baby does not mean you get to skip airport security. What the hell are you
thinking?!
A couple of weeks ago,
a friend and I were at a bagel cafe, eating some bagels with schmear and
working on papers for class (we're college students). We had a chosen a
medium-sized table at the back of the restaurant where we could spread out our
laptops, books, and printed articles without encroaching on anyone else's space
or tripping them with our computer chargers. After a few minutes, a gaggle of
mommies with giant-sized fluff-lined strollers came in and lined up at the
counter. They were all the trophy-wife type, with manicured nails, highlighted
hair, huge wedding and engagement rings, and designer tracksuits (not at all
uncommon in the resort town where our college is randomly located). We soon
noticed that they were all staring at us and whispering amongst themselves as
they waited for their food. Finally, one of them approached our table, smiling
in that condescending way that "successful",
"sophisticated" women smile at younger, less carefully put-together
ones. She said, "Excuse me, but my friend and I have a New Mothers Club.
We meet here every Wednesday morning, and we usually use this table." We
stared at her, not quite catching her meaning until she smiled even wider and
raised her eyebrows. She wanted us to pack up all of our things and move to
another table so that the New Mothers Club could have their "usual"
spot. Realizing this, we both said, "Oh, that's nice", and went back
to our work. She stood there for a moment, then snorted indignantly and stomped
off. The New Mothers Club found another place to sit, of course. Having a baby
does not mean that you get preference over anyone else in normal social
settings when you don't actually need the preference and deference you're
hoping for. What's the matter with you?!
Also a couple of weeks
ago, I was at my favorite study spot, a Panera Bread with wireless internet
close to campus. I was sitting quietly, minding my reading, when a mother,
grandmother, and a small child came into the store. The brat was wandering
freely, unsupervised by either woman as they ordered, aside from their occasional
glances and, "Aww isn't he adorables?" as they watched the spawn
stagger around harassing the other customers. To my horror, he soon fixated on
me and wandered my way. The mother and grandmother watched as the kid reached
repeatedly for my laptop and books, which I had to jerk out of his grasp, as he
screamed and babbled at me incoherently, and as he sat down at my feet, removed
his shoes, and flung them into my lap. They smiled at me, giggling, as if I
should smile back, coo at their progeny, and baby-sit it free of cost while
they waited for their food. I looked at them and the brat with my most icy-cold
stare, set the thing's shoes on the ground, and proceeded to completely ignore
it. Within seconds, the mother had swooped in and picked up the kid, who was
still staring at me and drooling. The whole thing seemed like either laziness,
or the women using the kid to get attention. Ew! Your child is not anyone's
responsibility but your own, and you shouldn't assume that every stranger you
run across in public will think your kid is adorable enough to watch after it
and keep it safe for you. Get over yourself and your spawn! Neither of you are
nearly that great.
There are countless
other examples of similar entitlement-mindedness.... Parents bringing their
offspring into public places and refusing to discipline them, supervise them,
and/or even attempt to quiet them when they scream and cry. Parents shoving
their shopping carts or strollers in front of anyone and everyone in their
path. Parents sighing with exasperation and indignation if they, god forbid,
ever have to wait their turn like normally-socialized high-functioning human
beings. Parents looking outraged and appalled if someone doesn't express the
utmost admiration for their spawn.
I could go on, but I'm
sure you get my drift. It's ridiculous, and it needs to stop. Parents need to
get over themselves and realize that they are by no means the first people to
have a child, or go shopping with a child, or grab lunch with a child, or
travel with a child in tow. Others have managed to do all of these things since
the first society was formed, and they've been doing them on a daily basis ever
since. You're not special, and neither is your kid.
Remember how you were
expected to behave before you spawned? Yeah. 99% of the same rules still apply.
Remember "manners", and "being polite"? Give them a try
again, and maybe your kid will learn to be more considerate than you are.
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