I take responsibility for my own security. No one pays my way. No one shelters me. No one protects me from
danger but me. I think that if a woman lives in an area where there's crime (and who doesn't?), it's her
responsibility to learn some kind of self-defense. No one is going to prevent me from going anywhere I
want at any time of day I choose. I refuse to live in fear.
I have learned that living in a protected, "women only" world and trying to bulldoze my way through
society that way is fruitless. I want to interact with the full scope of humanity, not just the portion that
is most comfortable. To this end, I live and work and play in a multi-gendered culture that is always
creating art and music. I do this on my own terms. There are a lot of assholes in the arts. I don't
tolerate them by trying to "be nice." I think a lot of women who try to "be nice" would be surprised
to learn that you get a lot more respect from even the assholes when you refuse to take their shit.
I find I can hold my head high among usually difficult groups of people and they know not to
fuck with me.
My unconventional relationship makes both men and women uncomfortable. No one seems to
understand what non-monogamy is or how it can be used in the same sentence as the word
"commitment." Many lesbians don't get how I can be bisexual and yet live with a man. Men don't
understand why I still like to be with women when I've found a man I want to be with. It's exasperating,
but I stand as an example to all those morons that you can make a relationship whatever you want it
to be. Ours is tailor-made for what both our needs are, and it works great. And I'll answer all the stupid
questions in the world if I think someone's going to learn from it. But if they're clearly too idiotic for
that, I say "Never mind. Fuck off."
I don't tolerate whiners or career victims in either men or women. I'm fucking sick of it. Sometimes
my creative work inspires women to come up to me and proceed to tell me about their childhood
sexual abuse problems. Number one: I am not a counselor and I don't want to hear it. Number two:
Why are you still living out your worst memories even after 5 years of therapy and reading "The
Courage to Heal" seven times? Don't therapists teach these people how to LET GO? I was raped
when I was fifteen but I rarely even think about it anymore. I've healed. It's over. It's taken it's
appropriate place in my psyche and now life goes on.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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