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Reasons why I am a Heartless Bitch:
- I watched Titanic and laughed.
- I would never pretend to like football, beer, or Neanderthal grunting in order to spend quality time with my mate.
- I have studied, stolen, mastered, and trademarked the GLARE.
- "Smirk" and "poor baby" are synonyms in my vocabulary.
- Every time I hear a woman utter the words "I'm just a helpless female you have to excuse me" and give that brainless laugh, I want to crucify her with dull nails under a plaque that reads "Disgrace to the Female Species."
- I let someone I didn't want to see anymore stand outside in the rain for fifteen minutes knocking on my door while I pretended not to be home: the lights and the tv were on, and my ford was parked in the driveway.
- If it's on my mind, it's on my tongue and fuck PC.
- The last time someone called me a Heartless Bitch I smiled and noted that it might be the first honest-to-god compliment they ever paid me.
- Since it's not PMS and it's not being assertive, and it's not being opinionated, Heartless Bitch is about the only explanation left.
Yes! I want to read more from Real Life Heartless Bitches
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